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Coping with your grief at Christmas time
Written by: Anna Loach
Date: December 20, 2021
Christmas is a time to be happy and jolly, spending time with family and friends but for some people, the thought of spending their first Christmas or even another Christmas without their loved one can mean that they will be filled with sad memories of someone close to them that is no longer here.
Facing your first Christmas without someone that you love can be a very lonely and even daunting time. People may expect that you will do things that you have always done like put up the Christmas tree, make your favourite Christmas food and even buy presents for those near and dear to you……especially because those around you want to see you coping and moving on.
But when you are grieving these seemingly simple things that were always part of your Christmas can be really difficult. You may have no desire or in fact, no ‘energy’ to be putting into Christmas this year because the truth is you wish things were the same way they were last year – when you were still together with your loved one.
On the other hand, some people want to handle Christmas time by doing things in the same way as always – not changing anything and keeping the same routines and family rituals. Keeping to the familiar gives them comfort. Allow yourself to have fun. It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten the person or that your grief for them is over.
AND IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING THIS CHRISTMAS
Give them a call, write them a special card, invite them over for a quiet get together, speak up and acknowledge their loss, and have the courage to mention the name of their loved one… and let them know that you understand that it my be a hard time for them but it’s Christmas…and there are many triggers everywhere of a missing face, an empty chair and silent thoughts of the way Christmas used to be.
Take care of yourself and those around you this Christmas.
If you would like to download a Self Care Factsheet, click here.
GET SUPPORT
- We understand that these may be difficult times for you and if you would like to feel supported by a professional, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us (03) 539 0066 or aloach@simplicity.co.nz
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