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Missing you this father’s day
Written by: Anna Loach
Date: September 1, 2022
Father’s Day can be a difficult day for someone whose dad has passed away. It may be hard to express just how much you miss him and how much you treasure your memories of the wonderful times you spent together.
WHEN YOUR FATHER DIES YOU CAN BE SWAMPED BY ALL SORTS OF MIXED EMOTIONS
You’ve lost his love and attention, perhaps the security, advice or moral support he gave, or his place in the family that was strong and dependable. You might feel vulnerable, alone and just miss his presence. His age, how he died, how he lived and your relationship with him will all affect the way you grieve.
YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Things not said or done, conversations that you wished you’d had. This can lead to guilt, anger, anxiety and preoccupied thoughts. What could help is to let these feelings come to the surface, write about them in a letter to your Dad or tell your diary; let yourself have that conversation to clear the air and release your feelings.
IF YOU’RE YOUNG – you may worry about how your Mum is going to cope, who will look after the family, who will be there for all those important events where you just need your Dad? You might think it’s unfair and be angry at the world because this has happened or you might just want to be left alone and try to work out how you are going to handle this. Try to talk to an adult you trust about these things
ON FATHER’S DAY
You can remember Dad by doing an activity that he always enjoyed; taking a bit of quiet time alone and ‘talking’ to him; making his photo prominent at your family gathering and talking about what he meant to you; posting a message on a memorial website or social media page.
Download our Self Care Factsheet here:
GET SUPPORT
- We understand that these may be difficult times for you and if you would like to feel supported by a professional, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us (03) 539 0066 or aloach@simplicity.co.nz
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