Mother’s Day Grief

We all know our parents are going to die one day, but that doesn’t mean that we’re not going to grieve them on special occasions like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. 

Losing your parents is one of adult life’s most significant rites of passage.  And while society may recognise the loss that children feel when their parents die, adults are supposed to be fundamentally different, quickly dealing with the grief of losing someone that raised them from the cradle.  If only it were that simple.  It might be the natural order of things that parents die before their children, but the sheer inevitability is no cushion to the pain and Mother’s Day for some people can be quite painful.

Here are a few ideas for those who want to feel connected and acknowledge someone that they cannot be with this Mother’s Day:

• Plant a tree or plant that can become a symbol of life and renewal and as a reminder of your love for that person.
• Spend time looking through photos and keepsakes and share the stories behind these with others around you.
• Write a letter to the person who is gone and tell them all about your life as it is today including any regrets that you may feel.
• Cook something special or a favourite dish that your Mother taught you or that your Mother loved.
• Call your surviving parent or sibling or friend and talk about the loved one you miss and the memories you share together.
• Tell yourself, your grief matters – don’t allow others to dismiss what’s happening to you or how you are feeling on this day.  Your grief is still real, and try not to fall into the trap of believing your feelings aren’t legitimate.
• Most of all, be kind to yourself this Mother’s Day

GET SUPPORT

• We understand that these may be difficult times for you and if you would like to feel supported by a professional, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us (03) 539 0066 or aloach@simplicity.co.nz
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