Men’s Health Week

So how’s this for timing then, from the 1News website…

King Charles III returns to public duties with cancer charity trip

“… Unlike most royals before him, Charles chose to publicly disclose details about his health when he first underwent treatment for an enlarged prostate and later when he was diagnosed with cancer. The decision raised awareness of these issues.

The National Health Service in England said the number of people seeking advice about prostate problems increased 11-fold in the weeks after Charles’ announced he was undergoing treatment.”

This must have been earthshattering for conservative, stiff upper lip Britons who follow the social norms that dictate that men show neither vulnerability, weakness nor emotions. They don’t admit to needing help or support, and they remain in control of everything. And they certainly don’t discuss private matters in public. Previous kings would have turned in their graves. Mind you, they were probably in their graves early because of those cultural “norms”.

This scandal in Great Britain is very similar to what men in New Zealand experienced when Sir John Kirwan “came out” regarding his mental health struggles. But it is this kind of “coming out” that will stop New Zealand men from going to their graves early.

There are many reasons that men struggle to deal with their health issues, whether these be mental, emotional or physical.  As already mentioned, social and cultural norms set expectations of strong, masculine behaviour; men are supposed to be tough, self-sufficient, able to cope with their own problems while fixing the problems of others; they work hard, and focus on their careers; and they do all this on their own.

“Doing it all on their own” is a huge problem. Men don’t connect well, and there are as many reasons for this as there are for why men don’t deal with health and personal issues, and many of those reasons overlap. We often encourage people, “You’ve got to tell someone” but the reality for many men is that they don’t have anyone to tell. At least, that’s what they think. Why do they think it? Try these:

“I can’t tell the missus, I don’t want her to worry”

“I can’t tell the kids, I don’t want to let them down”

“I can’t tell my mates, they’ll think I’m a … (insert your own derogatory, loser-type terms here)

“I can’t tell the boss, he might sack me”.

“I can’t tell the doctor, I’m probably not even sick”

“And I’m certainly not telling a ‘shrink’.

We’ve got a long way to go to in the promotion of awareness of men’s health issues, and just as long a way to go in convincing men to talk about their problems. Maybe in the meantime, we could develop a questionnaire, in easily understood and common language. I have invented such a questionnaire, one that covers every aspect of life and that helps a man to look more deeply into what’s going on in his life. So here it is, the comprehensive questionnaire for men’s health; It could be used in GP clinics everywhere to help get men thinking, and talking. I call it the Ultimate P Test.

1. How’s your Pee? Appropriate given King Charles’ disclosure of prostate cancer.
2. How’s your Poop? A messy subject, but then so is bowel cancer.
3. How’s your Passion? Closely related to Question 1 but dealing with all things sexual. And usually experienced as more embarrassing / humiliating than Queston 1.
4. How’s your Pot Tummy? Moving up from below the belt now, to look at diet with regard to weight, cholesterol.
5. How’s your Puffing? Not so much about running out of puff, but about what you’re puffing on; cigarettes / vapes / marijuana?
6. How’s your Pints? Is your alcohol intake causing you – or someone close to you – any issues?
7. How’s your Partner?  Ooooooh, relationships… now there’s a minefield, and some men can explode – or implode – when things don’t go well.
8. How’s your Peace-of-mind? Getting really deep now; your worries, fears, depression, anxiety, not sleeping.
9. How’s your Profession? Things at work can be really tough – how are you dealing with that?
10. How’s your Pay? Not just how much do you get – but the whole realm of financial health – are you paying the bills, keeping your debts down, able to make budget…
11. How’s your Playtime / Pastimes? Because you need some way to unwind, relax, let off steam, and to keep your mind from ruminating on all the issues from the previous 10 questions.
12. How’s your Pals? Wait a minute – What kind of a question is that? Possibly the most important one; not just colleagues or ‘mates’ – but real friends you can rely on, trust in, confide in… If you haven’t got a friend like that, try to find one; and if you’ve got one already, then you won’t to be able to say “No-one’s ever there for me” when things go wrong in any or all of the previous questions.

There you have it. 12 questions. There are 12 months in a year. Between now and next year’s Men’s Health Week, you could think about one question a month and see what adjustments you might be able to make to improve any or all of the areas covered in “The Ultimate P Test”.